One of my best friends died unexpectedly last weekend.
I was honored to know Bob Paquette, “Morning Edition” anchor and news producer at WFCR, Public Radio for 20+ years.
Backstory: I joined WFCR in 1987; Bob entered the studio in 1991, but our paths had first crossed earlier. Bob had been the news director, reporter, and anchor for WTTT in Amherst. Even though I was at WFCR in a very part-time role selling underwriting, I was working as a reporter for two separate AM stations, WSPR and WNNZ. I was concurrently arts/travel editor at the Jewish Weekly News. We always ran into each other covering stories, at media events, and other places where press hung out.
We also had something else in common. We were both amongst a handful of out media types. It brought a group of us together, especially as the LGBT rights movement grew in Western Massachusetts, and as the growing number of AIDS service organizations needed media support to survive.
As the years went by, I moved from reporter away from WFCR to WFCR’s Underwriting/Public Relations/Special Events manager and then to independent public relations dude; Bob moved from reporter to WFCR News Director to “Morning Edition” anchor. We rarely saw each other at the station because of different schedules. But, Bob, his then partner/now husband Mike Packard; me, one of my best friends and frequent collaborators Michael Kusek, and Chris Daly from WFCR (friend and colleague of Bob and me) started meeting for monthly “Boys Lunch”. We’d find a restaurant, sit, eat, and laugh for an hour, before going our respective ways.
Boys Lunch attended Bob’s and Mike’s wedding. Boys Lunch attended special events produced by me or Michael Kusek. When Bob was diagnosed with lymphoma, no one dared miss a Boys Lunch, and when Bob was in Brigham & Womens Hospital in Boston for a stem-cell transplant, Boys Lunch travelled to Bob.
During Bob’s illness, our friendship took a new course. As Bob suffered chemo and its effects quietly, and as my lifelong bout with diabetes crossed paths with a difficult-to-heal injury, we becme each other’s special support network. We shared dark moments, bright moments, fears, triumphs. I opened up to Bob in ways I never thought possible. I think he shared things with me that no one else ever knew.
Last Wednesday, May 25, we assembled for Boys Lunch at Northampton's Brewery. In an early blast of summer humidity, we sat on the outside deck and had sandwiches with cold beer. We laughed. The previous few Boys Lunch gatherings had involved discussions about caring for elderly parents. This time, just laughs. After, as Mike ran to a closing, and Chris ran back to work, Bob and I lingered. We had a chance to catch up one-on-one and laugh even more. I returned to work euphoric, because all of us were in great places and happy. In retrospect, that lunch was a gift. A chance to hang out with Bob when both of us were at our best.
His sudden death took me by surprise. I’ve taken great comfort in seeing friends, colleagues and strangers who were WFCR listeners post comments and accolades on Facebook, and after every article commemorating Bob appears. People who know me and know that I’ve worked with WFCR, offer their condolences, whether in the Starbucks line or at Big Y.
Two public accolades moved me to tears, one from a mutual friend, George Lenker, who writes for The Republican; another from Scott Coen at ABC40, a colleague with whom I don’t get to coffee with enough. I’ve posted their stories below.
WFCR also produced some remembrances.
http://www.wfcr.org/inmemoriam.phpI’ll honor Bob always by making more of an effort to be in constant contact with those I care about. I’ll honor Bob by making sure I work with the same level of integrity he displayed on-air and off. I’ll honor Bob by laughing. Bob’s sense of humor was sly and buoyant. And that quality makes me smile through tears.
Scott Coen’s piece for WGGB/ABC40:
http://www.wggb.com/Global/story.asp?S=14765120George Lenker’s piece for The Republican and MassLive:
http://www.masslive.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2011/05/bob_paquette_your_friend_and_m.html
